


Sundown

by AbbyGibbs



Category: Magnum P.I. (TV)
Genre: F/M, Father-Daughter Relationship, Fatherhood, Lost Love, Love, Not Beta Read, Season/Series 08, What Could Have Been, down memory lane
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-17
Updated: 2018-05-17
Packaged: 2019-05-08 05:37:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,236
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14687601
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AbbyGibbs/pseuds/AbbyGibbs
Summary: Thomas remembers Michelle, the only person he's ever really loved





	Sundown

Thomas had just put his daughter to bed. He was standing by the window as a float of memories of the past rolled over him like a giant wave. He was thankful that she was still alive, but he was equally submerged by and tremendous pain that was the loss to Michelle.

 

 _Why did she have to die?_ Was the question Magnum had been asking himself from the moment he had seen the car Michelle and her latest husband were in blow up. He had been driven by vengeance then for some time, but killing Quang Ki won't have brought her back, he'd set himself into sniper mode ready to kill the man, he had a perfect view and had a perfect position, but at the very last moment he hadn't pulled the trigger even thought he could have and no one would have seen him, and walked away crying knowing from the bottom of his heart that it was not what Michelle would have want him to do.

 

Tom turned to look his sleeping daughter to make sure she was still sleeping. The he slowly walked to rest of the stairs and slowly, silently opened the door. I needed some fresh air. Closing the door as silently as he could he walked away and wandered in the garden.

 

Robin's place was safe, and he was planning to walk that far and in case Lily would wake up, she would come looking for him in the garden she was a bright little girl. Thomas hoped that Lily wouldn't suffer too much from the loss of her mother, but he wasn't fooling himself either, she would at some point. He made himself the promise that his daughter would never ever let her forget her mom.

 

The night wasn't cold. And Thomas was thankful for it.

 

Walking a few steps farther, and sat on the grass, he brought his knees a bit closer to his chest encircling them with his arms. And looked in front of him he sighed heavily as once more his mind was full of memories of Michelle.

 

She was so beautiful. When he had first seen her, he had suddenly forgotten how to breathe, and then they'd married in the middle of the Vietnam War. The same country where she'd died or, so he thought.

 

She had begged Buck Green to set up her death because she had found out a week before they were supposed to leave that her husband was still alive, making her wedding with Thomas invalid for the state and church law. And, because to her it was the only way to protect him, she wanted Thomas to be safe.

 

Sure, he had been safe, he was alive and had made himself a life without her, but inside something had broken, because he had lost her. As he thought of Michelle, he remembered the night they'd conceived Lily-Catherine; the most wonderful night of his life. He would cherish it until his last breath that Thomas knew for certain. It happened seven years ago, and he could still smell her perfume, see her and feel her in his arms as if it had just happened.

 

He could also remember the morning after when all he had found was one his shirts left the wicker chair, and a letter which he still knew every single word from:

 

_Thomas, darling,_

_some people have a lifetime to love, you and I seem destined to have but a few moments, yet I know, no one on God's earth can love more than we have._

_I do what I must. To do otherwise would destroy not only me, but eventually or love, please try to understand that. I know that I have loved you since the first day I saw you, I will continue to love you until the last day of my life and beyond._

_Your wife,_

_Michelle_

 

Something Higgins had told him once echoed in his mind then. "It's better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all." Well, personally Magnum doubted that. Love is the strongest, most powerful feeling on earth, but it's also one that can destroy you.

 

Ever since, Michelle… Tom hadn't really fallen in love; yes, women would enter his life, but they'd exit it has rapidly. He had to admit that there were some he really cares about and that had a special place in his heart, like Adelaide Malone, she was kind and sweet and she had said a sentence to him before she left, he'd never forget: _The kindest eyes, I've ever seen, Thomas Magnum, private investigator._

And damn she could kiss. There was, Cynthia Ferrell, he almost married her. There had also been Linda Lee Ellison, the new reporter he had met the day of his fortieth birthday It didn't happen and thinking about it Thomas decided it was a good thing it didn't happen after all.

 

Not that it wouldn't have worked, but the ghost of Michelle would have always been between them somehow. According to his little inner voices, that's why he couldn't be in a serious relationship with a woman.

 

He wanted something he couldn't recreate because the loved he share with Michelle was the kind of love that only happened once in a lifetime. If one day a woman that he might love enough to remarry again she would have to accept Michelle and not trying to chase her out of his life because that was something that would never happen.

 

There was nothing he could do to change the past. All he had left of the love of his life were wonderful memories and pictures of their lost happiness. Magnum knew he had to let the sun go down on this part of his life, and he would, but he wouldn't accomplish that in one day, he would need time.

 

What mattered now was his daughter, Lilly Catherine, and he would dedicate the rest of his life to her, and her education, in the hope she would become a wonderful human being just as her mom had been. Magnum knew it would be difficult sometimes, but he also knew he could count on his friends, Rick, Terry, Higgins, and Carol, because no matter what would happened in their future life, he had no doubt they would always be there for one another.

 

"Papa? Papa?"

 

Thomas slightly jumped as he was called out of his thoughts by his daughter. "Hmm, yes, honey?" He said smiling before kissing her cheek affectionately.

 

He set himself so then that she could come and sit in between his legs, her back leaning against his chest.

 

They settled in a comforting silence for a couple of minutes before Lily told her father softy.

 

"Je t'aime, papa."

 

"I love you, too, sweetie." He replied caressing her cheek lightly with two fingers.

 

Lily Catherine's next words surprised him and made his eyes water.

 

"And mommy loved you too daddy, she always did." The little girl told him as she turned around stood on her knees and threw her arms around his neck.

 

Thomas hugged her back automatically and closed his eyes.

 

Lily was living proof of their eternal love.

 

The last gift and the most precious gift Michelle had giving him.

 

A soft breeze tinkled the air then, and they could both ear Michelle murmuring them.

 

_I'll love you both forever and always_

 

 

THE END


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